A Frightening Incident composition

Our class of Primary 3s are in their 4th week of lessons with us and are doing well. Especially in their English writing component. All of them are eager to share their ideas and willing to describe their points in details. Lower primary is the perfect time to motivate students to develop their love of writing. With patience and guidance, young students can take their time to build on their creative thinking while improving on their sentence structures and writing techniques. This is also the perfect age group to encourage them to read and come up with more ideas for their stories.

Last week, our Primary 3 English students worked on a composition about a Frightening Incident.

As we start off the year with our young ones, we feel that guidance is necessary three times out of the four times that they write in a month at the centre. The last composition of the month will have no guiding phrases and students will be tested on their ability to plan, describe and paragraph their ideas. Depending on the ability of the class, guiding phrases will usually continue to be given for the first term and a half.

The pictures below have been taken from the Mages English assessment book by 3 Gifted Minds LLP.

Methodology

I divided up the plot into 4 parts/4 paragraphs as a guiding tool. Prior to giving them the phrases, we discussed the possible plots by looking at the pictures and the sequence of events. This allowed the students to generate their own creative ideas which some included in their story, along with the helping phrases.

Introduction

• start of the school holidays
• met my friends at the field near the canal
• playing a game of football
• Tom brought along his new soccer ball

Problem

• game was lots of fun but also competitive
• Tom’s team lost the game
• Tom became angry and kicked the ball very hard
• flew over the railings and into the canal
• rushed over to the edge of the canal
• water level was high as it had rained in the morning
• water was moving fast
• Tom decided to jump into the water to retrieve his ball
• warned him of the danger but advice fell on deaf ears

Solution

• water was moving so fast
• Tom struggled to stay afloat
• we shouted for help
• passers-by stopped and helped
• jumped into the water to save Tom
• dragged him to safety
• someone called the ambulance
• Tom was unconscious
• whisked away to the hospital
• we thanked the brave man for his help

Conclusion

• Fortunately, Tom was not seriously injured
• his parents were furious
• Tom learnt an important lesson from this frightening incident

And the end result is below. This model is taken from one of the students in the P3 class 🙂

A Frightening Incident composition model

It was the start of the school holidays. Instead of staying home and glued to my electronic devices, I decided to go for a jog  in the park nearby. While jogging, I met my friends at the field near the canal. They were about to start playing a game of football and asked me to join them. My friend, Tom had bought a new football and was excited to use it. I decided to play with them.

          At the end of the game, Tom’s team lost. The other team laughed at Tom. Tom was so furious that he kicked the ball so hard. It flew over the railing and landed in the canal. We all gasped in horror.

“My new ball!” Tom shouted.

          Tom ran to the railing and saw the ball floating on the water. Without hesitation, he quickly dived into the water. We were all shocked and afraid. A passer-by witnessed what had happened and he too was surprised by Tom’s reckless behaviour.

          The water in the canal was moving so fast that Tom had to struggle to stay afloat. The passer-by shouted for help and some other passers-by came to help. A passer-by jumped into the canal to save Tom. He dragged Tom, who was unconscious, to safety. I whisked out my phone to call the ambulance. Soon, we could hear the wail of sirens in the air. The paramedics came and put Tom on the stretcher quickly. They whisked him away to the hospital.  We thanked the brave passer-by for his help.

          Fortunately, Tom was not seriously injured. Tom’s parents came to visit him at the hospital and also reprimanded him. Tom learnt an important lesson from this frightening incident. He vowed never to be reckless again.