A 2025 Model Primary 4 SA2 Composition: What Makes It Worth 18/20

This article is part of our P4 English composition Series. This year, like last year, our primary 4 students scored well in the end-of-the-year examinations. Many of the same students who scored well in their Primary 3 SA2 compositions last year have managed to do the same for their primary 4 ones. They have improved over the P4 year and have produced amazing pieces of work. To celebrate their hard work, here is one composition from one of our P4 2025 students in Hougang.

You can view her P3 2024 model SA2 composition.

The theme that they had to write on was Being Responsible. Let us take a look why this composition has done so well.

1. Vivid and Engaging Introduction

The composition immediately captures the reader’s attention with a descriptive opening. Phrases like “the fluffy white clouds waltzed against the azure blue” and “emerald-green leaves rustled in the breeze” show strong imagery and sensory detail.
This type of descriptive writing can help a primary 4 student score well on an examination.

The introduction smoothly leads into the main story when John finds the soccer ball, triggering his memory.

2. Clear Focus on the Theme of Responsibility

The entire story revolves around one moral: being responsible.
The writer consistently develops this theme by showing:

• The mother trusting John
• The special significance of the new water bottle
• John’s careless behaviour despite warnings
• The consequences he faces
• His final reflection and promise to change

3. Strong Use of Emotions and Characterisation

The writer skillfully portrays John’s emotions at each stage of the story:

• Excitement when receiving the bottle
• Confidence when dismissing his mother’s advice
• Joy while playing soccer
• Panic and regret when he realises the bottle is missing
• Shame and guilt when facing his mother

This makes the character believable and relatable.

4. Logical Story Flow and Well-Structured Plot

The story follows a clear and effective structure:

1. Introduction – Setting the scene and finding the soccer ball
2. Flashback – How he got the bottle
3. Rising action – John plays soccer and forgets the bottle
4. Climax – The moment he realises it is gone
5. Falling action – Returning home and confessing
6. Conclusion – The lesson learned

Such a structure shows excellent planning and an understanding of narrative progression.

5. Good grammar

Her composition had very few grammatical mistakes which allowed her to achieve 18/20.

Composition – Being Responsible

Being Responsible

It was a Saturday morning, the birds were soaring in the sky chirping in a melodious tune. The fluffy white clouds waltzed against the azure blue. The emerald-green leaves rustled in the breeze. John was in his room rummaging through his drawers to find his wallet. Just then, something black and white, with dirt on it, caught his attention. It was a soccer ball. John’s legs softened and his mind spun.

Sweat dripped down from his head and his hands were wet and clammy. Before he knew it, vivid memories came flooding back to him, pulling him back to the past—a year ago, when his mother put her trust in him.

On one fine day, John met his friends for soccer. The sun bathed the roads in a warm glow. “Mom, I’m going out!” John’s voice echoed through the air.

Mom stopped John and passed him a bottle. To his surprise, it was a bottle that he always wanted and never got. John stood rooted to the ground, head bubbling like a shaken soda, ready to burst. He could not believe that his mother had bought him the expensive water bottle that everyone in his school wanted.

John’s eyes gleamed when he saw it. He danced around the room. A small grin broke through his mother’s face, looking at him being so happy. John thanked his mother profusely and went to the door ready to go out. Mother warned John not to lose it and to be careful and not to be forgetful. She told him to be responsible.

“Me? Forgetful? Nah, mom’s just being paranoid!” John thought as he rolled his eyes and went to the field.

Little did he know, he was going to do exactly what his mother had said; his mother’s words had fallen on deaf ears.

When he arrived, his friends were already there. John waved his hand wildly and ran towards them. Immediately, John put his new bottle at the bench near the field and began to play soccer. Soccer was John’s hobby and he was amazing at it; he loved to play with his friends and would score many goals. By the end of the game, sweat trickled down John’s forehead. He was panting deeply and called it a day.

When John got home, his mother immediately asked, “Where is your bottle?”

John’s mouth was agape. He had left it at the bench near the field. John ran back to the field and searched high and low. The bottle had disappeared. John’s shoulder slumped as he shuffled his feet towards his house.

John stammered, “I’m so sorry… I… I mean I lost my new water bottle.”

Mom sighed in disbelief. Mom told him that it was his responsibility for his bottle. John knew it was all his fault. He hung his head low and did not meet his mother’s eyes.

“John!” A familiar voice jolted him back from his reverie. John promised solemnly that he would heed his mother’s advice and be responsible for the things he had lost. Once bitten, twice shy. John had lost the bottle he always wished for, but he lost something more important—his mother’s trust.

Overall, this composition shines because of its descriptive language, emotional depth, clear theme,development and well-structured plot. It demonstrates creativity, thoughtful reflection, and strong writing techniques. Congratulations to ZX!

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Check our P4 English Composition Checklist for more tips.