P6 Composition A Memorable Occasion & taking risks in plots

This is the P6 composition that has taken me some time to type out. This theme and pictures were given to the Red Swastika students for this year’s SA1. We had written something similar just before my student’s SA1 but the topic was An Unexpected Situation. She took the same idea (her pet escaping on her school’s pet day) and wrote it out, scoring well for her SA1 compo.

When I gave my students this composition, many of them (funnily enough, mostly the girls) chose to write about pets and pet day. Other students (mostly the boys) used the second picture and wrote about climbing a mountain. To be honest, I was a little skeptical at first. I imagined unrealistic plots and descriptions. In fact, I repeated several times to them during the Planning stage that they should be cautious with their descriptions.

To my surprise, all those who chose the mountain scenario did exceptionally well. Some even wrote about tackling Mount Everest in the 50 minute time frame I gave them! And I was captivated while reading their short suspenseful stories! Unfortunately, for those who wrote about Pet Day, their compositions paled in comparison to the suspense and drama of mountain climbing.

Later, while everyone read the model, the general consensus we all came to, was that sometimes we should take risks in our plots. Playing it safe doesn’t always pay off.

Out of all the good mountain climbing stories I read, I chose this one as my student, who is half Japanese, used some of his heritage and personal experiences in the story.

As we begin the Preliminary examinations, I wish everyone all the best! May your hard work and perseverance pay off! Believe in yourself! 🙂

P6 Composition model on the theme of a Memorable Occasion

Exhausted. That was all I felt. Exhaustion overwhelmed me. Why had I agreed to go mountain climbing with grandpa? I had just arrived in Japan and was feeling sleepy as I could not get to sleep on the plane ride there. To make things worse, it was dark, cold and had just finished raining.              

“We’re going!” grandpa shouted, carrying his heavy bag of useless tools. I rolled my eyes, feeling ridiculously silly to follow him. I picked up my trekking bag that mum had packed. Unlike grandpa’s bag, mine was way lighter.              

Well, I will take this as my survivalist training. If I survive, mission complete! Slosh, slurch! The soft and muddy soil stuck between my trekking shoes. Groaning, I questioned how long to the peak.              

“Just 3 hours to sunrise,” came the reply. As we trekked the dark and creepy mountain, I wished that my best friend, was there with me. This nightmare would be at least more fun.              

“We are approaching the third stage, the most dangerous zone, especially after raining. Be careful!” Grandpa reminded.  The third stage was always the highest, the steepest to climb. Chugging water into my dry mouth, I stared at my watch. One more hour. Fishing out my long rope, I swung it, hooking it onto a sturdy looking tree. At this stage, we had to wear gloves to prevent blisters. With all our might, we pulled ourselves up. With the slippery mud, it was like walking on oil, just diagonally.              

“Ahhh Help!” I screamed, slipping on a particularly large area of mud. My scream echoed throughout the desolate mountain forest. Grandpa grasped my hand, holding on to me, just in time before I tumbled down the mountain. Heaving a sigh of relief, I looked down the mountain, amazed that I had nearly fallen to my death. If it weren’t for grandpa’s quick reflexes, I would have been done for!              

“Okay grandpa, I’ll go first!” I confidently said, although still shocked from the near death experience. We were directly below the mountain peak, all we had to do was to just climb over the ‘small’ rock wall. I gripped onto the first rock. Eww, green moss was growing  all over the rocks. We could not give up. It was the last obstacle we had to overcome. Even though we were inexperienced climbers, we both swiftly climbed up over the wall like spiders.              

“Woah..” I was at a loss for words. We had made it just in time for sunrise. The picturesque view was amazingly beautiful.  No wonder grandpa had insisted on taking me there.              

Amazed, enthralled, mesmerized. These were the only words on my mind as grandpa placed an arm around my shoulder and we watched the sun rise above the mountain. The nightmare I believed was happening to me had unexpectedly evolved to a memorable occasion with my grandfather.