2023 SA2 P4 Composition Model – A frightening incident

It always pleases us when our students do well in their SA2 English, especially for their Paper 1. Our P4s write weekly during their TF lessons and we are always hopeful that their hard work will bring them good results.

This year, a few of our P4 students did very well in their Paper 1. Some schools still link their pictures together in a sequence while others give three random pictures. Below is an SA2 composition on A Frightening Incident. The three pictures given were random and not in sequence: Fire, a lift, an ambulance.

Fortunately, we had worked on the theme of Trapped in a Lift this P4 year. We also went through with our students past SA2 composition themes and helped them plan out their stories for each different theme by reworking the themes that they had previously done. This technique allows students to handle any theme that comes their way with ease.

This was what one of our students did for his SA2. Using the composition of being trapped in a lift that he previously wrote at TF and the helping phrases previously given on being afraid, he wrote about a frightening incident and scored 18/20. Well-done G! Below is his SA2 composition.

P4 composition model on the theme of ‘A Frightening Incident’

“Tom, wait up!” panted John as he dragged his feet. 

Tom and John were neighbours and they had just returned from school. They chatted happily at the void deck of their block while waiting for the lift.

“Ding!”  The lift doors welcomed them. Nate then jabbed the lift button and the lift began to ascend.  Out of the blue, the lift started to shake violently. It tossed them around like limp rag dolls in a washing machine.  Then, the lights in the lift flickered repeatedly. After a while, the lift arrived at an abrupt stop, throwing the boys off balance. Both the boys were frozen in fear.

“Help!  Anyone there?  The lift has broken down!” John shouted in a trembling voice.

After a few minutes, the boys began to panic as no one came to rescue them. Suddenly, Tom fell to the floor. He had difficulty breathing as he was asthmatic. John tried to help him by looking for his inhaler but Tom had left it at home. John gulped as his heart started to race again. I need to find a way to help Tom, he thought to himself as he broke out in a cold sweat.

“Look!  The alarm button!” exclaimed John.  With trembling hands, he jabbed the button.  In a split second, an ear-piercing shrill rang throughout the lift. The boys looked around, wondering when help would arrive. Tom leaned against John as he tried to breathe slowly. John was terrified but put on a brave face to reassure Tom.

Out of the blue, the lift started moving again. When the lift door opened, their anxious mothers and some neighbours greeted them. Tom’s mother quickly gave him his inhaler and then took him to the doctor for a check-up. John’s mother hugged her son tightly and praised him for keeping a cool head despite being afraid.

That night, as both boys lay in bed, they were glad that they were safe and sound. They never wanted to be stuck in a lift again. It was truly a frightening experience!